On Being a Cradle Catholic

I am sitting at home, in my lovely beach city, watching the last of the snow melt away. There is something about the combination of snow and being at home that makes me want to act like an 8 year old again. How wonderful it was to be 8! I distinctly remember blowing out the candles on my 9th birthday cake, with a thoughtful and almost sad expression on my face, and saying out loud to everyone, "Being 8 was the greatest year of my life". Melodramatic? Perhaps. Honest? Absolutely.

Since then, every year has brought wonderful things, making it hard to believe that life could get any sweeter. Having recently turned 22, I am feeling the twinge of nostalgia and have therefore been reflecting on my life thus far. This year for Christmas I received a complete set of the Liturgy of the Hours. It was my most expensive, and heaviest present. For my birthday only a few weeks ago I was given the loveliest rosary I have ever owned.

Anyone could appreciate a new set of shiny books with their lovely new book smell and colorful ribbons. Anyone could enjoy a homemade gift, especially one that catches the eye with bright colors and textured floral details that you can feel when you hold the beads between your fingers. But it takes a cradle Catholic to love them like I do.

I love seeing converts to the Church, and I truly admire them, so please don't get me wrong as I talk about how wonderful it is to be a cradle Catholic. I speak about being Catholic as someone that has been raised in the faith, and can only look and wonder admiringly at those whose path in life is so perfectly different from mine.

With this twinge of nostalgia, and the joy I have gotten from my fun and Catholic presents this Christmas, I began a conversation with a dear friend and fellow cradle Catholic about all the fun and silly things we did as children, that only little Papists would do. I thought I would share a few here.

I remember, at lunch time in the cafeteria, sitting in my cute but slightly awful plaid jumper and knee high socks. If someone had potato chips, and they happened to find one chip that was perfectly round, it was a grand opportunity to "play Mass". Maybe that could sound blasphemous to someone, but I can't help but love how our Mass celebrations were such an integrated part of our childhood lives that it permeated even into our play time.

I remember looking through the Ignatius Press magazine/catalog to read the book summaries in the preteen section. I remember needing to drink copious amounts of water after being the stamp-licker on the assembly line of my father's pro-life literature mass mailing (later, my older brother wised up and got a sponge for us). I remember my first confession. I think it consisted of me being sorry for not doing my chores and hitting my older brother when I didn't get my way. I remember thinking how I was so lucky because I got to receive my First Holy Communion of Saturday, so I could go to Sunday Mass the next day and receive Jesus twice in one weekend.

Still today, we have an angel on top of our tree instead of a star. We still say blessing before meals and rosaries every car trip.

Oh what a life. And I am only 22. God has been so sweet to me over the years, and I can't wait to be wowed in the years to come. I can't wait for every birthday, because I know every set of candles I blow out, I will be thinking the same thing I said when I turned 9, this was the greatest year of my life.

Beauty vs Cuteness

The Church is full of beauty. I don't say this lightly. There is nothing more beautiful than Christ in the Eucharist, and from that monumental beauty has flowed paintings that takes your breath away, sculptures and figures that bring you to your knees, and music that can make you sob until you have no energy or tears left. Yes my friends, God is the most beautiful thing in the world, and I cannot forget it.

But my soul mate (who was married and died about 80 years ago), G.K. Chesterton, had some lovely things to say about a more child like view of all things fancy and nice. I don't know if I could ever speak too much about God's beauty, so this is certainly not a competition to see which gets spoken of more, but I think Chesterton made a good point in his book Orthodoxy, about God's delight in precious and cute things. Here is a small bit from the book:

"All the towering materialism which dominates the modern mind rests ultimately upon one assumption; a false assumption. It is supposed that if a thing goes on repeating itself it is probably dead; a piece of clockwork. People feel that if the universe was personal it would vary; if the sun were alive it would dance. this is a fallacy in relation to known fact. For the variation in human affairs is generally brought into them, not by life, but my death; by the dying down or breaking off of their strength or desire. A man varies his movements because of some slight element of failure or fatigue. He gets into an omnibus because he is tired of walking; or because he is tired of sitting still. But is his life and joy were so gigantic that he never tired of going to Islington, he might go to Islington as regularly as the Thames goes to Sheerness. The very speed and ecstacy of his life would have the stillness of death. The sun rises every morning. I do not rise every morning; but the variation is due not to my activity, but to my inaction. Now, to put that matter in a popular phrase, it might be true that the sun rises regularly because he never gets tired of rising. His routine might be due, not to lifelessness, but to a rush of life. The thing I mean can be seen, for instance, in children, when they find some game or joke that they specially enjoy. A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess not absence, of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again repeatedly until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike, it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinner and grown old, and our Father in younger that we. The repetition in Nature may not be a mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore."

I have not read the rest of this book yet. In fact, it would be imprudent of me to do so, seeing as how this is my exam week, and I have already taken time out of my precious and limited study hours to share. Please pray for me, and for all students who are taking exams right now. Help them carry their cross of student-life with joy, and to make sure prayer is always a priority. I don't know if I will be able to re-read my notes over and over again with the same delight as a child, or with someone with an "eternal appetite of infancy", but I will try.

The Immaculate Conception

I have so much to say about why I believe in the truth of this feast, but Father Dwight Longenecker has such a beautiful story that I would rather share his words on the matter. Here are some of the highlights:

"During a visit to Greenville, SC I debated the matter with a Catholic priest named Fr. Paul...He was very kind and listened to me carefully. I explained how Thomas Aquinas didn't believe it and how it wasn't necessary because then St Anne would also have had to be immaculate and how it was a late dogma...blah, blah, blah. Finally he just chuckled and said, "We believe in the Immaculate Conception because the Pope tells us to. Pass the fried chicken."

"I no longer simply understood the dogma and the logic of it, but I saw the beauty of it and the wonder of the simple girl of Nazareth becoming the second Eve. As I realized I believed in the Immaculate Conception I also suddenly became more aware, in a deeper way--a way very difficult to articulate--of the reality and historical concreteness of the incarnation itself. Suddenly Jesus Christ--Son of God and Son of Mary--was more real than he ever was before and I also grasped why the church requires this belief and does not allow it to remain a pious option."

"I was finally ordained as a Catholic priest back in Greenville, about eighteen years after the conversation with Fr.Paul"


Full story here.

Quick Post: Shopping in the name of God

Ok, so maybe there isn't quite such a thing as "shopping in the name of God", as one of my dear roommates calls it, but this little website is a great place to start some Christmas shopping and support religious life and community at the same time!

Advent is here!

Today at mass, before the celebration started, a family of parishioners went to the microphone to read a short prayer and light the first candle on our church's Advent wreath. I sat and watched, with a gleam in my eye, because my mother signed our family up to light the Advent wreath on the last Sunday of Advent. She knows all too well how, since childhood, my brothers and I would fight over who got to light the pink candle. Dearest mother, in her infinite wisdom, picked the Sunday with the most candles to light, and the longest prayer to read, so her children could live in harmony. Far be it from us to let being in our twenties stop us from acting with the heart, soul and maturity of children.

Once I got over myself, and how much cooler our Advent wreath lighting slot is than all the other families who sieged the sign up sheet in the lobby of the church as soon as the elderly secretary made it available, I was able to concentrate on the mass. The homily today was particularly inspiring for me. I wasn't exactly ready for Advent to start. Certainly I welcome it, because it includes fabulous things like purple and pink candles, and my birthday, but I have been so busy being busy that I never took time in my daily prayer to prepare myself.

Thankfully, God puts people in your life to kick you in the butt, and today Father Cristiano did just that. His homily centered on how Advent is a season of self-examination. So here I sit, thinking about how I am going to examine myself, and prepare for advent. Here is what I have come up with so far:

1. Figure out what Advent is
2. Write a blog post about it
3. Pray, pray, pray
4. Keep praying, it's good for you.

I am still working on refining steps 3 and 4. I might add a fifth step, which I think is going to be something along the lines of gloat about getting to light the pink candle because it's on my birthday, but hopefully praying and examining my conscience will refine that step as well.

Offering it Up

I sustained a minor sprained ankle the other night, nothing to be alarmed about. The most painful part of the injury was in my upper body after having to use crutches.

I have to say, I was overwhelmed by the kindness of friends and strangers. I'm not sure if it was my forlorn look of desperation and embarrassment as I awkwardly crutched my way around campus, or if it was my heavy breathing and frequent breaks that had people asking how it happened and if I needed any help.

God has a funny way of bringing delights in little sorrows, like the kindness of strangers. Sometimes those delights are so wonderful you question whether you have ever truly experienced hardship.

I have wonderful friends who kept reminding me that I had the opportunity to offer up my not-really-an-injury injury, and I kept reminding them that I had already complained away any graces I could have gotten from the whole ordeal. It wasn't until the end of the day when someone approached me and asked if I could say a little prayer for someone in their life on my walk/crutch back to campus.

It reminded me that "offering it up" is more than just dealing with pain because you know complaining is annoying and your parents told you to stop every time you asked if we were there yet. I was reminded that offering it up is a purposeful and conscious prayer that unites you to the suffering on the cross. It brings joy amidst suffering, maybe even to the point that suffering is transformed into only a joy.

The swelling is finally going down, and the whining has almost stopped. Now I just need to remember that suffering is more than just physical pain, but in whatever way I am given the opportunity to suffer, I should thank God that I get to live my life a little closer to Him if I can only have the grace to just offer it up.

I have allergies to all things not summer

I haven't left my apartment in almost 24 hours. I have been running a low grade fever, which got up to an even 100.0 at its peak according to my digital Spongebob thermometer. My body aches like I ran a marathon and my throat is more ticklish than an elmo doll. So, while I have been wallowing in self pity and enjoying my sweet roommates and friends making me herbal tea and bringing me soup, I have stumbled across a few fetching finds in the world of the internet. Enjoy!


1. The Catholic Pick-up Line Song


2. Pumpkin swirl brownies! As much as I despise weather cooler than 70 degrees, I do love the new flavors that changing seasons bring!


3. One of the small pleasures I allow myself as a college student going to school 4 hours away from home is keeping all my programmed radio stations on their original settings. When I am at school, I must "seek" out my radio stations. That way, when I come home 2 or 3 times a year, I experience this.


4. In this modern culture that doesn't value life, Catholics have been accused of only caring about life inside the womb. While it is true, we Catholics love little tiny humans, we also love the larger, older ones. Here is a celebration of long-lived life in photos.


5. Maybe it's my fever, but I am convinced that this is one of the greatest things I have ever seen.



Before I go, I will leave you with this quote from "The Way" by Josemaria Escriva in his chapter on Tribulations (which I am glancing over because I view a low grade fever as a tribulation).

"If you accept tribulation with a faint heart, you lose your joy and your peace, and you run the risk of not deriving any spiritual profit from that trial." n. 696

Welcome Back

The school year is upon me. I am a full month into classes. I am adjusting to this new title of "senior". In about 40 years I will have this title once again, although I don't anticipate being as sprightly then as I am now, but perhaps just as enthusiastic about new privileges, such as discounts at McDonald's and a special menu at Silver Diner.

Why do I start to think about the future? It seems a little too soon, especially to think about the distant future. If anything, most normal people in my position are consumed with thoughts about the near future. Will I graduate on time? Will I get a job? Will I marry a rich and handsome man who loves Jesus? All completely normal and rational thoughts.

But I think one of the best things I can do is to live in the present moment. I caught a small glimpse of the joy and sanity you get from truly living presently when I was doing mission work in the Dominican Republic last year. It was only a brief visit, where everything was planned for me, therefore alleviating any worries I might have, but it also pointed to a greater idea that God has a plan for us. As a blind person cannot see what is before them and relies on someone who can see, we are blind to our futures and need to rely on God, who knows what is in store for us.

I think also of St. Faustina's diary, on the very first page, she says

"When I look into the future, I am frightened,
but why plunge into the future?
Only the present moment is precious to me,
As the future may never enter my soul at all.

It is no longer in my power,
To change, correct or add to the past;
For neither sages nor prophets could do that.
And so, what the past has embraced I must entrust to God.

O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire.
I desire to use you as best I can.
And although I am weak and small,
You grant me the grace of your omnipotence.

And so, trusting in Your mercy,
I walk through life like a little child,
Offering You each day this heart
Burning with love for Your greater glory."

As tempting as thoughts of the future can be (aka daydreaming), it is so much more glorious to live presently. One day the future will be my present, and I don't want to spoil the surprise.

FOCUS

More than a Game from FOCUSNational on Vimeo.

Currently Reading

I have a book list as long as can be, and I have never been able to start one and finish it without trying to read 3 more at the same time. A recent turn in events and some wise words from a friend have finally been enough to make me resist the urge to multi task my reading and stick with one.

I am currently reading a book called Captivating. I will post this disclaimer that the book is not exclusively Catholic, but until I find something that totally contradicts the faith, I cannot dismiss it.

Captivating is a piece to invite women to see the true beauty within them because they are daughters of God. To sum it up all too quickly, the author and her husband talk about the 3 inherent desires of woman: to take part in romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to have her beauty unveiled.

I haven't finished yet, in fact I am not even half way through, so I cannot give you a summary or a book review, but I can tell you that this book is filled with little nuggets for you to think about. Here is one of the many nuggets I have had to stop and contemplate for:

"I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of failure to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough as a woman. Every woman I've ever met feels it- something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and, I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women."

Before I scare the men off with a quote like this, I must say, one of the first thoughts that struck me upon reading this was how I wish that the men in my life would read this book. If it is eye opening for me as a woman, I can't imagine what a useful tool it can be for men to understand their creational counterpart.

Captivating is a follow up to Wild at Heart, which is sort of like the male version of this book. I hope to read that too, and maybe I can learn more about the wonderful men in my life, and be better able to help them on their paths to heaven.

Summer Update

Dear life,

How are you? I haven't really seen much of you this summer. I have spent most of these past few months being too busy to stop and sniff the roses, and by sniff the roses, I mean post on this blog. I had hoped to stay active on the blog over summer, but as I became busier, I justified it with the fact that because my blog's premise was the fact that I was a student, it was OK that I ignored it during the summer.

But in fact, I have learned that a collection of my thoughts and musings is quite necessary. The collection of thoughts has been left solely to prayer, with no time to blog. But tonight, I have a small window of time before I pass out.

Life, for so long I have been thinking that I have not spent anytime living you, but as I think more, I realize we have been pals since the semester ended, I just failed to recognize you sitting right here next to me. I have been so wrapped up staring at my pink leather bound planner that I forgot you were here. Can you ever forgive me?

Now that I look back, I see that every metro ride at 7:30 in the morning, and each cup of tea consumed to keep my tired eyes focused on my laptop during the working hours, you were there, waiting for me to see you, and to see the adventure in every moment that has always existed. Thinking back, I know you where right there, when a blond haired, big blue eyed baby boy cooed so sweetly on the metro that even the scary looking ex-con with prison-quality tatoos uttered the phrase "isn't he adorable!"

You were there when I was so busy being busy that I got on the wrong metro car, and the time I forgot my badge at work and couldn't access my floor of the building. You were there when I decided to look up the daily mass times, and you were right there when I discovered a daily mass during my lunch break.

Jesus, you are my life, and too often I forget. I am swept up in the humdrum of a full time job during the day and a part time job in the evenings. You have been with me all summer, even when I fail to even recognize your presence. So, Jesus, sweet life within me, thank you for being there. Thank you for dealing with me even when I am f.i.n.e. (freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional). And please help me remember to stop and sniff the roses, whatever that means.

With as much love as my little broken heart can give,

Your workin' girl

Eternity is Worth the Awkwardness

The majority of comments asked to hear about my humble take on the phrase "eternity is worth the awkwardness", and so, without further ado, is the post:

The human mind cannot grasp the concept of eternity. Perhaps we can understand what it means, that is, existing beyond this human life, or perhaps we can truly ponder it, and wonder at the mystery of it. But for our feeble human intellect, that is exactly what it is: mysterious. Like many of the great things in the church that we can't totally grasp, we will call it a mystery.

What we do know about eternity is that our souls are subject to it. Either an eternity full of joy, or one devoid of it. It really is that black and white. There isn't any gray (unless you count purgatory, but that is simply a stepping stone to heaven, no turning around after that). When we understand the stark contrast between these two options, we must realize that how we live our life is how we decide upon which eternity we choose.

I won't waste my time telling you in detail how eternity with God is the better choice. For the purpose of not droning on, I will assume we all believe that heaven is clearly a better choice than hell. Given that assumption, we would prefer to live our lives in a way that chooses heaven. How do we do this? Well, we have a great handbook on how to live called the Bible, and we have the Church that was established by Jesus Himself, which has a teaching authority to help us with lots of pesky details.

As a college student, and a student leader with the Catholic Campus Ministry, one of the more challenging situations I am faced with is awkwardness. When I call up a friend to invite them to join me at daily mass, or attend your bible study, I have to brace for impact. The impact of the impending awkwardness that is. One of my favorite responses is the long drawn-out ummmmmmmmm which is used to buy time to think of a slightly less-lame excuse than having school work. One of the most bold rejections I have received after asking someone to come to Sunday mass with me was "Catholics are cannibals, no thanks". The most frustrating ones are the people that don't return calls, texts, and even go out of their way to avoid you. All that does is force me to be more awkward by continuing to try and contact the evader.

But why go through this seeming torture of being rejected over and over? Of facing the awkward situation of being the weird church-girl? Of talking to the kid in the corner after mass whose facial expression gives the impression that he has never been in a public venue before and he hasn't showered recently?

Because it's worth it.

In my position as a joe-college kid (jane-college kid?), I have asked myself why I allow myself to be subjected to such incredible discomfort and akwardness. I could just sit back and act like what the movies have told me college kids are like, and avoid a lot of strange looks. But ultimately, the answer to my own question is the phrase that titles this blog post entry: eternity is worth the awkwardness. It's completely worth it.

If Jesus could hang out with the most hated people in society, I can make it worth my time to talk to the socially awkward kid, or risk my cool-points by inviting a group of random friends to mass.

Jesus leads by example, and if the example he gave for us to get to heaven was to love the ones who need love, awkwardness is a small price to pay for that.



***And in case you were wondering what awkward looks like, here are a few examples:

Tell Me What You Think!

First off, I would like to apologize for not posting for quite some time, but I promise I have a legitimate excuse. Immediately following my final exam, I left for California for a bit (I will post pictures soon!), and I have been home for two days, and I am currently preparing to leave for the D.C. area again to attend a the Seton Gala.



A lot has happened in the past few weeks, and I have so much I want to say! Instead of cavalierly commandeering this blog and deciding what I would like to talk about, I want to know what people reading this would like to hear!



Leave a comment on this post letting me know which of the following topics sound most interesting and you would like to hear about:



Sunday Mass in California at the Mission in San Luis Obispo (and other California adventures, with photos!)

Modest is Hottest

Eternity is Worth the Awkwardness

Discerning the Little Things

Any other suggestions


So please, leave a comment and let me know :)

Silver Lining

Today has been cold and dark with spots of rain every now and then. It is also exam week. The gloominess is almost unbearable.

Before exam week started, the students who attended the 10pm Sunday mass (yes, PM), received Father Peter's "blessing of the brains" that he gives at the end of every semester. The blessing was so beautifully said, asking the Holy Spirit to fill the students with peace, easing their anxiety. Father Peter prayed that we would not neglect our prayer or our studies.

How perfect was it that prayer was listed before studies. As a Catholic college student, it is so easy to get wrapped up in the idea of being a "good student" that we are no longer a good child of God. Today I took a small hour break from my studying to go to the chapel and pray, and then say hello to friends that were studying in the chapel's library. As gloomy and nerve-racking as the day had been, just being in front of the Blessed Sacrament helped soothe my soul. Just that quick conversation with Jesus helped me offer up my own anxieties.

As I said my goodbyes to my friends in the chapel's library, and walked outside, I was greeted with no rain! How wonderful! The rain had stopped, and I know the sun is patiently waiting behind the clouds, relishing in the idea of the moment I am done with my final final exam at 4pm tomorrow, so he can burst out from behind the grey, and welcome me into summer!

Grades

What is the current nominal interest rate on 5-year Brazilian treasury bills? Who knows? I should, because it's part of my curriculum for my Economics 310 class. I have a problem set and a quiz due for that class this week, immediately followed by my final exam. And that class is my easiest class this semester in terms of work load. Absurd? Yes, I think so too.

So here I sit, whining and complaining, about this hard life. I have to study for classes, and hang out with friends, and have my tuition paid for by the people who put up with my antics for so long. Someone please call the wahhmbulance.

I have to constantly remind myself that part of being a faithful daughter of God is to do every task with excellence. Part of my "little-v-vocation" is being a student. If being a student now is going to help me reach my big V Vocation, then I should be being the best student I can be.

What is your vocation in life? Are you living it out right now? I have to ask myself these questions just to make sure I'm staying on track, and even then it can be so hard to discern what is coming from the Holy Spirit, and what is coming from my own personal wishes. Sometimes I wish God could just shoot me and email, or text me what I should do each day, or if I could just have a Bruce Almighty moment, where God played by Morgan Freeman just gives me all his powers.

I have to be careful with what I pray for though, because God just might give me what I want. But God, in His omniscience, would not tell me something I wasn't ready for. So for now, I know I am ready to be a good student. In fact, I am ready enough to let you know that the current nominal interest rate on 5-year Brazilian treasury bills is 12.7% (in Brazilian Reals).

The World We Live In

Baby Boy survives for nearly two days after abortion. From the UK Telegraph.

Just the title alone makes you sick, doesn't it?

A live baby, breathing and crying, was left alone in a room for two days after he was aborted. This practice is common among abortions where the baby is still alive, especially late term abortions. Our current president actually voted against a bill to protect babies like this in the United States. Not an opinion, just a fact.

But if you want my opinions, I'd be happy to give them. However, for the sake of this little boy, and everyone in the world who has been affected by abortion, I will keep my opinions to myself, and let other great people who came before me to give their words.

"It seems to be clear as daylight that abortion would be a crime."
Mahatma Gandhi

"How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers."
Mother Teresa

"A person's a person, no matter how small."
Dr. Seuss

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves"
Proverbs 31:8

Please pray for the repose of the soul of all children who have perished because of abortion, and pray for all women and men who have been affected by abortions. The effect that abortion has on them, women especially, is devastating. And please remember, we can never chastise, but only respond with love and compassion. It is not our job to judge, but simply to be instruments of God's love and peace.

My Life

For those who do not already know, I have a wonderful and loving set of parents, and older brother named Will, age 23, and a younger brother John, age 10. I am 21. We also have a dog, Daisy, who we lovingly refer to as the littlest sister.
As someone who loves to read other peoples' blogs, I know that I prefer when blogs have photos. To satisfy people reading this who also prefer photos in blog posts, here is a random assortment of pictures about my life:


I like pretty, bright things. These are some tissue paper flowers that I made with some girls in my bible study and other friends. They are beautiful, and they will last all year long!




This is my family on Easter. I am not in the photo because I am behind the camera. (Cough cough, I want a tripod, cough cough).


This is a typical evening in my house, our own personal blackjack dealer, and my 10 year old brother trying to earn some extra cash. Just kidding.

So there you have it folks, a visual aid full of random photographs of my life. I can't wait until I get to see my family again, once this terribly hectic semester is over! Pray for me to use my time wisely, and to be excellent in my studies!

Be Proud

A good friend of mine alerted me to this article about the wonderful things the Catholic Church has done. The writer, a Jewish man, defends the Church as an institution that has done more good than not, even though the media viciously attacks and degrades the Church for the faults of her human members.

Here are a few of the highlights in my opinion:

"Now let me give you some figures that you as Catholics should know and remember. For example, research by Richard Blackman at Fuller Theological Seminary shows that 12% of the 300 Protestant clergy surveyed admitted to sexual intercourse with a parishioner; 38% acknowledged other inappropriate sexual contact. In a 1990 study by the United Methodist Church, 41.8% of clergywomen reported unwanted sexual behavior by a colleague; 17% of laywomen said that their own pastors had sexually harassed them. Phillip Jenkins concludes in his book “Pedophiles and Priests” that while 1.7% of the Catholic clergy has been found guilty of pedophilia, 10% of Protestant ministers have been found guilty of pedophilia."

"Why? Why would these enemies of the Church try to destroy an institution that has 230 colleges and universities in the United States with an enrollment of 700,000 students?

Why would anyone want to destroy an institution like the Catholic Church which has a non profit hospital system of 637 hospitals which account for hospital treatment of 1 out of every 5 people not just Catholics in the . United States today?

Why would anyone want to destroy an institution like that? Why would anyone want to destroy an institution that clothes and feeds and houses the indigent 1 of 5 indigents in the United States, I’ve been to many of your shelters and no one asks them if you are a Catholic, a Protestant or a Jew; just “come, be fed, here’s a sweater for you and a place to sleep at night” at a cost to the Church of 2.3 billion dollars a year?"

There is so much more good stuff, and I encourage you to read the full article here.

The most beautiful prayer I have ever heard

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says,
"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content
With being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me,
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship
With Me alone.
Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united
With Me alone,
Exclusive of anyone or anything else,
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.

I want you to stop planning,
Stop wishing,
And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing,
One that you cannot imagine.
Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I Am.
Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait.
That's all.
Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.
Don't look at the things you think you want;
You just keep looking off and away up to Me,
Or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then when you are ready,
I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any
You could dream of.
You see, until you are ready and until
The one I have for you is ready
(I am working even at this moment to have you both ready at the same time),
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me
And the life I prepared for you,
You won't be able to experience the love that
Exemplified your relationship with Me.
And this is the perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love,
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your
Relationship with Me,
And to enjoy materially and concretely
The everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love
That I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love utterly.
I Am God.
Believe it and be satisfied.

~ St. Anthony of Padua

Adventure

Of the many a times I have spent perusing facebook, I have ended up living vicariously through friends' travel photos. A few close friends have had the opportunity to travel abroad for school and pleasure, and they have such fantastic photos, stories and blogs. I love to hear about their daily adventures, and sometimes I wish my life was as exciting.

But of course, my life could be so much more exciting if I didn't sit and dream about other people's. I remember a priest at my home parish once said, "saying you are bored is the same thing as saying you are boring", and how true it is!

How can I complain about having a mundane life? God gave me this life, and God doesn't do mundane, he only does spectacular. Think about it: you were created for a purpose. You are a unique and unrepeatable soul who is playing a part in the grand history of the human race. There is something you must do in this life, that no one else can do. If you fail, then that part of human history is kaput.

Imagine someone you greatly admire, and they ask for your help to achieve their grand goal or adventure in life. How stoked would you be? To help put it in perspective for me, I imagine F. A. Hayek asking me to help him with his research that won him the Nobel Prize in economics.

But Hayek pales in comparison to the God of the universe.

I want to live my life worthy of the promises of God, and that means loving greatly, and knowing that if I follow God, every day of my life will be a grand adventure. Simplicity becomes splendid and mundane minutia become marvelous miracles.

Dear Jesus,
Fill me with Your Holy Spirit, that I may greet each day with a holy determination. May I see each and every person as made in Your image and likeness. Let me not waste Your precious gift of time, but use it only for You. Amen.


Also, a quick 2 or 3 page read about seeing each day as an adventure can be found here, by the wonderful G.K. Chesterton. This small essay changed my life.

Responsibilty to the Poor

As I have stated before, I love economics (Austrian/Libertarian type). I also love social justice. While Milton Friedman wasn't a Catholic theologian, he was a phenomenal economist, who seemed to have his moral compass pretty darn straight. Here is a quick little video about his response to what the government's role or responsibility is when it comes to helping the poor.

Fetching Finds

Here are some fun things I have found around the interweb this week. I hope you enjoy!

-Not true, but totally funny, church sign war!

-A funny joke much appreciated by me, a PC user

-Econ geekery, about the broken window fallacy. Only 2 minutes long, totally worth it!

-A recipe for bruschetta, but not your typical bruschetta, a fruit bruschetta!

-The papist picture of the day. I laughed out loud when i read the caption

Have a wonderful Sunday! Relax, and enjoy the last day of the Octave of Easter :)

Cold Weather and the Fall of Man

Here in stinky, polluted, beachless northern Virginia, warm weather has finally decided to grace us with its presence. Toes are seeing sun for the first time, sunglasses tans are beginning to form, and the quad at my university is spotted with Frisbee games and and impromptu picnics. It is absolutely wonderful. I can feel my seasonal sadness disappearing as the sunshine warms my skin, and I cannot help but think of God's goodness.

I also cannot help but think about something I would like to add to Church doctrine, simply because I think it's true. (Disclaimer: this is NOT church doctrine, it is just a silly idea that I have thought about.)

I truly believe that cold weather was a result of the fall of man. By the first humans sinning against God, they brought upon us not only strife between the sexes, but the need for sweaters and heaters.

Why would I think such an absurd thing? Well, let me tell you. When Adam and Eve were sinless, they were naked; the temperature was not conducive to wearing clothes. Also, when you think about historically and geographically where the garden of Eden most likely was, it's hot.

Perhaps those reasons are merely whimsical and without rationality for the ends in which they try to achieve, but in the words of every American teenager, whatever.

I won't dwell too much on how much I dislike cold weather. Instead I will bask in the sun's rays, trying to get my flip flop tan lines.

Alleluia!

For a good decade of my life, I was a girl scout. I know the joys of Easter like every Christian around the world, but as a former scout, I am able to celebrate in a unique way. Easter, for girl scouts, is that glorious time of year when the samoas, thin mints, trefoils, tagalongs and the like, come out of their hiding place in the freezer. Cadbury is no longer contraband. Those tasty treats that were sacrificed for 40 days are now part of the scrumptious celebration that is Jesus rising from the dead.

Even more sweet than chocolate though, is that some of my dear friends received Eucharist for the first time in their lives. Even though I couldn't be there with them at the Vigil (because I went home for Easter), I was able to see them today at daily mass receiving for the second time! Each one is just as special as the first! God has blessed the church with a spiritual multiplication, and a hunger for Him.

On a more personal note, my visit to home was bittersweet. It was wonderful to see my family, and spend time with them. It will be the last time I see them until after my final exams. Sadly, one of my best friends from high school was involved in a car accident the night I came home that left her with 3 broken ribs and a broken back. I was able to spend a few hours each day with her in the hospital, before her surgery this morning (which went well!). Now she is on the road to recovery, and I'm sure she would benefit from all of your prayers, so please pray for my dear friend Logan.

Even though she was in the hospital on Easter, the Christ-like spirit of this holiest of days was not lost. When I arrived that afternoon in the ICU, she was surrounded with family and friends, and even some stuffed animals from home. I added to the collection by sneaking in chocolate (which was only a small contribution to her bountiful Easter loot). So Logan, I dedicate this blog post to you, meager as it may be. I will be praying for an easy and speedy recovery, and I hope you enjoy the chocolate!

Holy Week

Happy Holy Week dear friends!

I pray that we all use this time to unite ourselves to Christ's suffering, that we may better prepare ourselves for His coming on Easter Sunday.

Writing this blog was initially a Lenten promise, a little something extra to do in the name of Jesus. While it still is a beautiful fruit of Lenten prayer and sacrifice, I will continue to write in it after Lent.

Today, the day before Holy Thursday, I challenge anyone who is reading this to several things.
1. Pray pray pray!
2. Use the cross as a guide for meditation. Unite yourself to Jesus' suffering and Passion
3. Go on a bread and water fast for the Triduum (or do something extra, on top of your current Lenten promises)
4. Add the word Triduum to your computer's dictionary (because my computer didn't think it was a word)
5. Go to confession before Easter
6. Go to mass on Easter, and celebrate!

Peace, Love, Economics

This past Christmas, one of my favorite gifts from Santa (read: mom) was a mug. It is large enough to hold as much tea as I could drink (I don't drink coffee), and, displayed around the outside of the mug it says "Peace, Love, Economics", with lovely pictures to illustrate the words.

In case anyone reading this blog doesn't know, I love economics. I am majoring in economics at one of the top universities for Public Choice in the country, and I have even been able to learn from world renowned professors and Nobel laureates in economics.

My personal attraction to economics is a unique one. I fancy myself a hybrid of libertarian thinking/Austrian school of thought/ subscriber to Stigler's Economic (capture) theory, and also a Roman Catholic who loves social justice.

I am basically using this tidbit of information as a plug for my own opinions regarding current events and the faith. So here goes:

In lieu of the recent health care legislation, I attended a debate the other day about government involvement in health care. During the audience-question portion of the debate, someone stood up and asked something along the lines of "I am a devout Christian, and I value every human life. I believe that we should care for every human, regardless of the cost. How do you argue the moral side of this argument?"

This question brought me back to a blog post I contributed to the Catholic Economist blog, and my opinion hasn't really changed.

In an application for a summer seminar with the Institute for Humane Studies, I submitted another essay about the role of government involvement in health care. If you care to read that one as well, let me know. It's only a few paragraphs, but I don't want to bore you with politics too much.

And I do apologize for not staying on top of things and writing on this blog as often as I ought. I have been utterly swamped with school work, food poisoning (I'll tell you all the wonderful details about that another time), and the other little blessings in life that keep me keeping on. I think now I will recline back with a cup of tea in my wonderful mug, and try to brainstorm some good blog ideas so I don't leave my wonderful readers without a post.

Retreat High

Anyone who has been on a retreat knows the feeling of "retreat high". It is a small but glorious glimpse of the joy of heaven. I was on an Ignatian style silent retreat. Those retreats usually last for a few weeks-one month, but because we are just a bunch of college students, we had to pack it into one intense weekend.

In case you wanted to know the structure if an Ignatian Silent Retreat, click here. I began explaining it in this blog post, but it was getting too lengthy, so I am making it optional.

Going into the retreat, I had no expectations. I had no idea what to expect, and I didn't know a single thing about the structure of this particular retreat. I wish I had known more of what to expect, because once silence began, I felt awkward, and uncomfortable. I suppose that could have been a natural reaction. But as the weekend continued on, I actually began to savor the silence, and relish in it. Silence is truly God's loudspeaker! Although I didn't hear an audible voice, God gave me an opportunity to really look inward in a way that I could never do without silence.

I truly enjoyed my retreat experience. It was wonderful growth in my personal relationship with God, and because it was so personal, I won't get into any details, but I will share one insight I had that I shared with the entire group on the last day during large group sharing.

At the retreat center, there was a beautiful courtyard with lovely paths, trees, and benches to sit and pray. At the center of the courtyard was a large golden statue of Jesus and His Sacred Heart. He was glancing slightly at the ground, with his arms in front of him. One night (after walking around the entire courtyard to make sure no one was there), I went to the foot of the statue. This was after an intense examination of conscience, so I was almost afraid to be near anything that resembled Jesus, so I sat and just stared at the feet. You could see the marks where the nails had been driven through on the cross. The way the moonlight played off the statue, it looked like a scar. I reached out to touch the scar, and was utterly surprised when I found that it was not a scar, but a deep hole.

There was a piece of the body of Christ that was missing. My sins helped put the nails through those feet. Because of my own sinfulness, the most holy, kind and beautiful human to ever walk the earth was tortured and shamed.

We are all part of the body of Christ, and when we sin, we are not fulfilling the awesome call to sainthood each of us have. When we take ourselves away from God, we take away a piece of the body of Christ.

But do not despair dear friends! We are saved! We are redeemed! All we have to do is stop sinning (easier said than done, I know). God gave us the beautiful sacrament of confession, where our sins our forgotten, cast as far as the East is from the West.

I am so excited for Easter.

The Sound of Silence

Growing up, my parents were not pop music connoisseurs. Certainly I had piano lessons for a short while, and even clarinet lessons for an even shorter while (terrible idea on my part), but the only music I ever heard around the house was Gregorian chants, one of my dad's favorite things to hear, and once or twice some Simon and Garfunkel.

My immediate reaction to this limited introduction to music was two-fold:
1. I hated Gregorian chants, they were totally uncool, and my dad was so strange in my elementary school eyes. How embarrassing!
2. I always remembered the words "neon signs" from Simon and Garfunkel's hit, The Sound of Silence. I'm not sure why those words in particular stuck out, but I'm guessing it's most likely because it created an actual picture in my head to remember.

But I am brought back once again to both of these musical influences on my life because tomorrow I will be leaving for a silent retreat. Silence + retreat made me think of those two songs. I have never been on a silent retreat before, and I am absolutely puzzled. I can't say I am excited, or even anxious. It is a strange feeling, how I feel about this retreat, because it will be a completely new and unique experience.

I have talked to friends who have gone previously, and I hear nothing but positive feedback. I am however worried just slightly. Some people have come back from this retreat changed completely (for the better of course), and they seem to know exactly how to live their lives, more so than just having teachings and precepts laid before them. You could witness a concrete change. What if that happens to me?

Does that seem like a strange preoccupation? Of course it does. For now, I will prepare myself, maybe by listening to some Gregorian chants, or listening to The Sound of Silence, or maybe just the sound of silence.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Did you remember to wear green so as not to be pinched?

It's important to remember that today is about more than just wearing green, so to make this post not totally useless, here are some facts about St. Patrick:

-lived 385-461
-he is not actually Irish! he was born in Roman Britain and was taken as a slave to Ireland when he was 16
-being the saintly man he was, he decided to go back to the place he was a slave, and bring the gospel with him (incredible)
-he came up with an analogy about the trinity, using the three-leafed clover
-he gets credit for getting rid of all the snakes in Ireland



I don't actually have time to make this, but how cool would it be to make red velvet cupcakes (that are actually green)!

Estrés

The word "stress" was not in the Spanish vocabulary until relatively recently. Because they didn't have their own word for it, they invented one, and by inventing, I mean they added the letter "e" at the beginning and threw in an accent mark. Isn't that incredible?

What I wouldn't give to live in a world where stress wasn't even a concept! I am back to my first day of classes and I have never felt so stressed and anxious. Classes and work and responsibilities seem to be piling on me like they have never done before. Even my own personal life is hectic, coming back from break and having to readjust and see people I haven't seen in over a week.

An even bigger challenge is making time for prayer. Luckily every Monday night, the chapel here offers adoration in the evening. Prayer is one of those things that can seem to be a time consuming activity, one that would add to stress because while in prayer, I am not getting work done. But something miraculous happens there. You talk to God, and He hears you! How mind-blowing is it that the God of the universe listens to you? It's something I am not awed by enough.

Hopefully, prayer will be fruitful tonight, and I will be able to finish my Spanish paper due tomorrow on a novel I have yet to read. This is very estressful.

Friends

I am enjoying spring break in lovely Charleston, S.C. It's been a little while since my last post, so here is a rundown of what's going on:
I am in Charleston, S.C. with 7 of my friends. The guy girl ratio is perfectly even, 4 guys and 4 girls. The guys are staying at a hotel, and us girls are at one of my roommate's sister's house. We are loving the hospitality down here, from the entire community, and especially from my roommate's sister and her husband.

The days are fairly warm, but the nights are cold, most likely because it is still March, and we are right on the coast. I have to change outfits around dinner time to adjust to the drop in temperature.

Yesterday was our first full day and we spent it sleeping in just a tad, and then a few people went to daily mass, and the rest of the group went and scoped out a good spot at Folly Beach to park our cars and eat lunch. We soaked up some rays, played a little beach football, looked for sea glass, and even smoked cigars! Well, the guys were the cigar smokers, although I had a few puffs. I must say, I think I will leave cigars to the guys, because my breath was terrible after that. Then we were able to walk out the the end of the Folly Beach pier, and we saw and old man catch a small shark!

We ended the afternoon with dinner at the best taco restaurant with the coolest bathrooms. So cool in fact, that I took pictures of the inside of the stalls. This picture doesn't really do it justice, but there were mirrors on either side, giving it that cool optical illusion, and the walls were covered in the menus. And, my face is actually that red from the sun that day.

During all of these fun events, I was with a group of great friends. We might get on each other's nerves about all the close quarters, and planning that is entailed with a large group, but at the end of the day, we build each other up. I can't help but think about the stories of the saints that were friends and roommates, like St. Francis de Sales and St. Jane Frances de Chantal and St. Vincent de Paul and St. Louise de Marillac. They shared their lives with each other, and look where it got them!

A good analogy is one of a group of burning coals. Together, they stay lit, but if one strays, it grows cold and loses it's heat. I'll make sure to stick close to my friends, especially at night when the temperature drops.

Confreshion

They say that you should go to confession at least once during Lent. I am not sure who "they" are, and when I heard this, but it sounds pretty fantastic to me.

I feel a little fickle about confession. Before I go in, I am a mix of dreading it/knowing it's good for me. When I walk out, I am so elated. Why am I so weird? And I know I'm not the only one! Most people I talk to about the sacrament of confession feel about the same. It's one of those things you know is great, and you always feel fantastic when it's over with, but actually getting there is the hard part.

Something I can very easily relate this to is waking up early. My roommate in the bedroom next to me knows too. I let my alarm go off until the last possible snooze, and the walls here are paper thing (sorry roomie). And each time the alarm goes off, deep down in the part of my brain that isn't drugged with grogginess, I know I will be glad that I was up earlier.

But alas, I sleep, and sleep, until my alarm gives up on me and I am sprinting to class, with lines on my face from the sheets, bedhead, and hunched over with a backpack. I'm sure everywhere I go, people just think, what a freshman. (To clarify, I am a junior).

So, to the wonderful confessor who heard my sins this past weekend, thank you. Thank you Jesus for wiping the sin drool off my face, and combing through my messy morning hair of vices and sin, and even dressing me appropriately, with absolution and graces, instead of a tee shirt and jeans.



And one more note: SPRING BREAK TOMORROW! YAHOO!

NUNS ON OPRAH

That's right folks.

Dominican Sisters of Mary Mother of the Eucharist were on the Oprah Winfrey show!!!

Here are the videos (there are multiple because they are broken up in segments between commercial breaks)

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

And, just because I am kind of proud and want to brag a little bit, one of the sisters that was interviewed is coming to my school to visit the Catholic Campus Ministry (yeah, we rock).

Spring Break

My school's spring break is rapidly approaching, and it is making it harder and harder to stay focused on what I should be accomplishing in my life right now. Homework is impossible to even care about, sleep is left for when the sun is out, and a well rounded meal means it just needs to come out of a box, into a bowl, and be eaten with a spoon.

As Catholics, we certainly don't (or shouldn't) treat our celebrations like that. Currently, we are anticipating Easter Sunday, the biggest celebration ever! But instead of acting like college students, we live in a more ordered fashion, by preparing our hearts and minds for the coming of Christ. We order our prayer lives in a way that aligns with our physical being, by praying and fasting together, and we change the gospel proclamation. Some people even dare to go so far as to not check their facebooks (those are the crazies).

If I am supposed to be living and integrated and ordered life, that means not just my "Catholic girl" life, it means all of me. Being a Christian is to give every facet of your life to God, including studying. While I certainly have much to work on to live a more ordered life, I have found that making your work a prayer is helpful. Your desk is your cross (I think a saint said that?). Scary, but true.

I will begin living an ordered life now. The sky is still dark, and I ate food that required a fork today. Perhaps I will even get some homework done.

Internships

I have applied to a couple of internships for economics this summer. One was due tonight at midnight (it is currently 11:45pm) and I just submitted it. Part of the application was to write a "roses are red" poem. I would like to share:

Roses are red
Keynes is dead
So why does he still haunt my dreams?

Violets are blue
Road to Serfdom is true
And we’re heading down it, it seems.

Sugar is sweet
Please hire me.


I do hope they take me seriously.

Injury

I am deeply sorry to all of my adoring fans for the lack of posts. I hurt my ankle, and I need that to type, obviously.

Instead of any inspirational tidbits of faith, I will share with you some fetching finds found around the web. Just click on the link [for my parents if they are reading, the link is the colored underlined word ;)

-Father John Zuhlsdorf had a great blog post on the importance of prayers being memorized

-true and beautiful

-let's get some school vouchers, PLEASE

I hope you enjoy! If you like this, maybe next Saturday I will do it again!
Peace!

Wisdom

Dare I speak about wisdom? I heard a quote by St. Francis de Sales that was along the lines of, prayer is dangerous, because praying about virtue and holiness can lead the person praying to believe they possess those things.

Well, let me preface by letting everyone know I do not have the gift of wisdom. Yet.

But! I learned all about it yesterday, and I want to share an interesting little nugget I gleaned.

Any Christian, faithful or lukewarm, has most likely heard the phrase "fear of God" (or perhaps this is a grand assumption for me to be making, but I need to rest on this assumption to make myself believe what I am about to say has some meaning). I was always a bit wary of fearing the Lord.

I had someone ask me once, how fair is it to only want to go to heaven because you don't want to go to hell? My first response is, well, of course that's not so great, we should want to go to heaven because we have a positive desire to go to heaven, not simply an aversion for hell. Then, they pull out the old "fear of God" quote and I am left babbling and really being a terrible witness.

So what does fear of the Lord mean? The way it was so wonderfully explained to me, is to think of someone you respect, like REALLY respect. Take Blessed Mother Teresa for example. You have so much respect for this woman, that if you were ever in her presence, you would be so afraid to act like a fool, or disrespect her in any way. You would be so careful with every movement, every word. That is what is meant by fear of God.

If I feel this strongly about Blessed Mother Teresa, how much more should I feel this way about God? And yet, it is a struggle.

How does fearing God tie into wisdom? It's one of the biblical characteristics of a wise person (among other things, like listening and learning, and not cutting babies in half).

For now, I will try to be wise and prudent, by studying for an economics homework. Hopefully homework does not fall prey to the same danger as prayer in the eyes of St. Francis de Sales.

Results

For every action there is a reaction. For every sult, there is a result?

I learned, for the umpteenth time, the result of procrastinating. I will be enjoying a late evening finishing my spanish paper. I only have 300 more words, but need I remind you, those words are in Spanish.

The gospel on Sunday just proved to me, for another umpteenth time, that Jesus is awesome and he never procrastinated. In fact, he was always vigilant and sober, ready for anything. He fasted and prayed for 40 days in the desert (not much else to do in the desert, according to Father Peter at mass), so that even when he was face to face with Satan himself, he could ignore those temptations. In fashionable internet speak amongst young people, Jesus pwnd. Everything the devil tossed out, Jesus had his response made ready.

One of my favorite verses in the bible is 1 Peter 3:15, which reads "Always be prepared to make a defense to anyone who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence" (NRSV).

Procrastinating is certainly not being prepared for anything. Fortunately, I am what society calls a college student, and we can run off minimal sleep for extended periods of time. This knowledge of my ability to function on little sleep, as well as knowing I procrastinated by going to the gym for an hour and a half, and writing in this blog, help me rationalize this terribly silly habit of procrastination.

So tonight's actions and results?
Paper-not done
blog- DONE!
sore muscles- DONE!

2 out of 3, not bad.

Holy Report Card

I am a terrible procrastinator.
Like I said in my previous post, I am visiting home this weekend, but instead of going out to enjoy this wonderful city, I resolved to stay in and get homework done.

Oh, I stayed in, and in the 7 hours I have been awake, I have accomplished 3 paragraphs for a 4 page paper. Granted, it is in Spanish, and Spanish is not my first language. It is also a history paper and I do not particularly care for the history of the Iberian peninsula and how it affected the Aztecs. It will take un milagro for me to finish this paper tonight.

So 3 paragraphs in 7 hours. That's pretty pathetic. Assume 6 paragraphs a page, 4 pages total, I need 21 more paragraphs. At this rate, it will take me about 2 more full days to write this. Don't worry, I will speed up. Those 7 hours that only produced 3 paragraphs were interrupted by my sick dog, my family, and eating, lots and lots of eating the yummy leftovers from the casino party last night.

This measuring of academic achievement today prompts me to think about my Lenten achievements. The problem with this is that it isn't quite as measurable. There isn't a word count or a page limit, in fact the achievements necessary for holiness are endless. You never reach a holiness 4.00 or a holiness limit, it is constant growth. A good friend of mine has said to me many times, "There is no standing still on the path to holiness. If you aren't moving forward, you are moving backwards."

We do not have the convenient tool of a time sensitive check list, but we have other wonderful resources for how to grow in holiness, like the Bible (I'm a fan of the NRSV), and a whole slew of documents and teachings of the church to guide us on our way. I am currently reading Caritas in Veritate, Pope Benedict XVI's encyclical on economics (ok, not exactly economics, but there is a lot of good stuff for econgeeks like me).

I must conclude this post and return to my Spanish paper and/or watch my school's basketball team on ESPN.

Economics of Sacrifice

I was absolutely delighted at the homily in daily mass today. Father was talking about sacrificing things during the Lenten season, and how we might sacrifice things and not even know about it (which ultimately doesn't end in spiritual growth). For example, being so busy with school work you miss a meal. You probably won't be blessed abundantly for being so pious and "fasting" from that meal, but it was a "sacrifice" nonetheless.

I am studying economics, so of course I wanted to raise my hand and say "actually, I would call that a trade off", but homilies aren't the time to be raising hands. Instead I pondered.

What are the differences? Every sacrifice is a trade off, but not every trade off is a sacrifice. Sacrificing is a trade off with the end in mind of growing closer to God in some way. A trade off is a simple human mechanism of exercising our preferences in a world of scarcity.

Examples
Trade off: Pressing the snooze button a third time. You prefer 5 more minutes of sleep to 5 more minutes getting ready and letting your face look more awake and less zombie.

Sacrifice: Not eating dessert after dinner to complement your prayer for souls in purgatory.

Both examples involve giving up one thing for the sake of another, but a sacrifice involves a conscience and deliberate trade off for the sake of holiness. (I'm just making these up, so correct me if you have a better text book definition)


Something new I have learned thus far in Lent: Prayer+Fasting= amazingly amazing if you want God's will to be done. I haven't experienced it quite yet, but I hope I can successfully try this combination.


In other less Lent-y news, I am visiting home this weekend! My mom is throwing a casino party tonight, and I just couldn't miss out on playing blackjack and craps without worrying about spending my own money. We are having two dealers come in and set up their tables (real ones! with green felt and everything!), and lots of good friends to come and enjoy the party.

The menu had to be redone a week or two ago, when my mother realized she planned the party for the first Friday in Lent. Luckily, we live right near a big ocean so seafood is easy to come by and deliciously fresh. This ties in so well with Father's homily though, because my mom made a trade off, and a sacrifice, by reconfiguring the entire menu and working tirelessly to cook and prepare for the party, so that we could still follow the rules of Fridays in Lent, and assure that her house guests enjoyed themselves. Mommas are awesome.

TNS

Every Thursday night at my university, the Catholic Campus Ministry celebrates daily mass, then all 100something of the students eat a delicious meal and are able to hear a quick talk about something faith-related. We affectionately refer to it as TNS, or Thursday Night Supper.

At mass, I almost forgot about the lack of our proclamation before the gospel, you know, that overly-covered song that Jeff Buckley sang in the movie Shrek? I was surprised, just because it is still so early in Lent, but it was also a nice reminder and a supplement to my prayer. After mass and then a delicious dinner, we all scooted our chairs around to face the night's speaker. Tonight's talk was about finding true Christ-centered love.

The focus of the talk was mainly marital relationship, but it is so easily applied to everyone's personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Our speaker, Elizabeth Foss (http://elizabethfoss.com) shared lists of qualities that a good man or good woman should strive for on their path to holiness. Luckily for all of us, God has all of those qualities! God is all that is good, He is all that we truly desire in any relationship.

This Lent, and every other day of my life, I hope I am graced with all the good qualities and virtues that make me a good woman. As Mrs. Foss began the list of qualities, I began to take inventory of which ones I had. Unfortunately, I have a very long way to go, but fortunately, it's Lent! Best time to start! Frankly, it's even better than New Years, because Lenten resolutions have a stronger degree of accountability, which I find most often in the form of fraternal correction from my roommates.

My roommates, I am sure, are keenly aware of my need to live out at least one of the qualities in Mrs. Foss's talk, which is listening to and receiving that fraternal correction. Thanks roomies :)

Tomorrow will be the first Friday in Lent, and I will have to tie a string around my finger to remember not to eat meat!

Don't smear it!

I received ashes at noon mass on campus, and my day up until that point had been filled with two primary concerns. First, I hoped that my ashes would be dark and defined, because in past years my ashes have been light and frankly a little wimpy. They would never last the whole day, or if they do, it ends up smudged and looking like dirt on my forehead. My other primary concern was not to smear the ashes. The urge to rest your forehead in your hands is always the strongest on Ash Wednesday.

Like my cosmetic concerns with the ashes I receive on my forehead, it is easy to get caught up in the other outward aspects that Lent brings, especially fasting. But lucky for me, the Church anticipated this and adjusted accordingly. The readings at mass addressed exactly that topic. I can't think of where in the book of Joel, and which letter of Paul were read, and where in the Gospel of Matthew(?) these wise words of God came from, but two things in particular stuck out to me. First, do not let one hand know what the other was doing, so basically don't brag about holiness, because that is just obnoxious (so that's not exactly what it said, but we all know it's true), and second, not to look gloomy while fasting, so as not to draw attention to ourselves and our supposed piety.

It can be easy to forget why we fast, and sometimes even easier to get caught up in the nitty gritty of the details of what fasting is (one meal, and two small snacks that don't add up to one meal, no meat today and Fridays!). We can also get gloomy, as was talked about in the gospel, because our stomachs are empty. But, if it is any consolation to your sad empty stomach, those hunger pains are a beautiful, albeit small, reminder of our spiritual hunger for God.

We can survive without facebook, candy and creamer in our coffee, but we cannot survive without God. I have to keep reminding myself that whatever Lenten resolution I make must be done with joy in knowing that God is still with me. Hopefully I can keep that on the forefront (or forehead) of my mind, so as not to forget what it's all about.

Lent starts...NOW!

Part of my Lenten resolution is to start a blog. I haven't really conceptualized everything, but I know it will be something along the lines of being a Catholic college student from the female perspective.

I came to this idea because I myself follow many a blog, all cute little design blogs with colorful pictures, a love for cupcakes and puppies, and the use of the word "lovely" to describe anything that strikes a fancy. I am sure my roommates are sick of me telling them the latest little lovely things I find in my browsing of the blogosphere, but perhaps I can take the time I spend bothering them with writing a blog of my own.

Lent is a wonderful time to start! It is a time of preparation, prayer and fasting. I hope to do all these things during this season of Lent, and share some things I discover along the way through this little blog.

And if you were wondering why my blog is called The Itchy Scapular, you must wait, because that will be a whole new post.

It has been Ash Wednesday for 25 minutes now, as I glance at my clock. Pray for me friends! The journey begins!