I haven't left my apartment in almost 24 hours. I have been running a low grade fever, which got up to an even 100.0 at its peak according to my digital Spongebob thermometer. My body aches like I ran a marathon and my throat is more ticklish than an elmo doll. So, while I have been wallowing in self pity and enjoying my sweet roommates and friends making me herbal tea and bringing me soup, I have stumbled across a few fetching finds in the world of the internet. Enjoy!
1. The Catholic Pick-up Line Song
2. Pumpkin swirl brownies! As much as I despise weather cooler than 70 degrees, I do love the new flavors that changing seasons bring!
3. One of the small pleasures I allow myself as a college student going to school 4 hours away from home is keeping all my programmed radio stations on their original settings. When I am at school, I must "seek" out my radio stations. That way, when I come home 2 or 3 times a year, I experience this.
4. In this modern culture that doesn't value life, Catholics have been accused of only caring about life inside the womb. While it is true, we Catholics love little tiny humans, we also love the larger, older ones. Here is a celebration of long-lived life in photos.
5. Maybe it's my fever, but I am convinced that this is one of the greatest things I have ever seen.
Before I go, I will leave you with this quote from "The Way" by Josemaria Escriva in his chapter on Tribulations (which I am glancing over because I view a low grade fever as a tribulation).
"If you accept tribulation with a faint heart, you lose your joy and your peace, and you run the risk of not deriving any spiritual profit from that trial." n. 696
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Welcome Back
The school year is upon me. I am a full month into classes. I am adjusting to this new title of "senior". In about 40 years I will have this title once again, although I don't anticipate being as sprightly then as I am now, but perhaps just as enthusiastic about new privileges, such as discounts at McDonald's and a special menu at Silver Diner.
Why do I start to think about the future? It seems a little too soon, especially to think about the distant future. If anything, most normal people in my position are consumed with thoughts about the near future. Will I graduate on time? Will I get a job? Will I marry a rich and handsome man who loves Jesus? All completely normal and rational thoughts.
But I think one of the best things I can do is to live in the present moment. I caught a small glimpse of the joy and sanity you get from truly living presently when I was doing mission work in the Dominican Republic last year. It was only a brief visit, where everything was planned for me, therefore alleviating any worries I might have, but it also pointed to a greater idea that God has a plan for us. As a blind person cannot see what is before them and relies on someone who can see, we are blind to our futures and need to rely on God, who knows what is in store for us.
I think also of St. Faustina's diary, on the very first page, she says
"When I look into the future, I am frightened,
but why plunge into the future?
Only the present moment is precious to me,
As the future may never enter my soul at all.
It is no longer in my power,
To change, correct or add to the past;
For neither sages nor prophets could do that.
And so, what the past has embraced I must entrust to God.
O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire.
I desire to use you as best I can.
And although I am weak and small,
You grant me the grace of your omnipotence.
And so, trusting in Your mercy,
I walk through life like a little child,
Offering You each day this heart
Burning with love for Your greater glory."
As tempting as thoughts of the future can be (aka daydreaming), it is so much more glorious to live presently. One day the future will be my present, and I don't want to spoil the surprise.
Why do I start to think about the future? It seems a little too soon, especially to think about the distant future. If anything, most normal people in my position are consumed with thoughts about the near future. Will I graduate on time? Will I get a job? Will I marry a rich and handsome man who loves Jesus? All completely normal and rational thoughts.
But I think one of the best things I can do is to live in the present moment. I caught a small glimpse of the joy and sanity you get from truly living presently when I was doing mission work in the Dominican Republic last year. It was only a brief visit, where everything was planned for me, therefore alleviating any worries I might have, but it also pointed to a greater idea that God has a plan for us. As a blind person cannot see what is before them and relies on someone who can see, we are blind to our futures and need to rely on God, who knows what is in store for us.
I think also of St. Faustina's diary, on the very first page, she says
"When I look into the future, I am frightened,
but why plunge into the future?
Only the present moment is precious to me,
As the future may never enter my soul at all.
It is no longer in my power,
To change, correct or add to the past;
For neither sages nor prophets could do that.
And so, what the past has embraced I must entrust to God.
O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire.
I desire to use you as best I can.
And although I am weak and small,
You grant me the grace of your omnipotence.
And so, trusting in Your mercy,
I walk through life like a little child,
Offering You each day this heart
Burning with love for Your greater glory."
As tempting as thoughts of the future can be (aka daydreaming), it is so much more glorious to live presently. One day the future will be my present, and I don't want to spoil the surprise.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
Currently Reading
I have a book list as long as can be, and I have never been able to start one and finish it without trying to read 3 more at the same time. A recent turn in events and some wise words from a friend have finally been enough to make me resist the urge to multi task my reading and stick with one.
I am currently reading a book called Captivating. I will post this disclaimer that the book is not exclusively Catholic, but until I find something that totally contradicts the faith, I cannot dismiss it.
Captivating is a piece to invite women to see the true beauty within them because they are daughters of God. To sum it up all too quickly, the author and her husband talk about the 3 inherent desires of woman: to take part in romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to have her beauty unveiled.
I haven't finished yet, in fact I am not even half way through, so I cannot give you a summary or a book review, but I can tell you that this book is filled with little nuggets for you to think about. Here is one of the many nuggets I have had to stop and contemplate for:
"I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of failure to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough as a woman. Every woman I've ever met feels it- something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying gut feeling of failing at who she is. I am not enough, and, I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is Shame, the universal companion of women."
Before I scare the men off with a quote like this, I must say, one of the first thoughts that struck me upon reading this was how I wish that the men in my life would read this book. If it is eye opening for me as a woman, I can't imagine what a useful tool it can be for men to understand their creational counterpart.
Captivating is a follow up to Wild at Heart, which is sort of like the male version of this book. I hope to read that too, and maybe I can learn more about the wonderful men in my life, and be better able to help them on their paths to heaven.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Summer Update
Dear life,
How are you? I haven't really seen much of you this summer. I have spent most of these past few months being too busy to stop and sniff the roses, and by sniff the roses, I mean post on this blog. I had hoped to stay active on the blog over summer, but as I became busier, I justified it with the fact that because my blog's premise was the fact that I was a student, it was OK that I ignored it during the summer.
But in fact, I have learned that a collection of my thoughts and musings is quite necessary. The collection of thoughts has been left solely to prayer, with no time to blog. But tonight, I have a small window of time before I pass out.
Life, for so long I have been thinking that I have not spent anytime living you, but as I think more, I realize we have been pals since the semester ended, I just failed to recognize you sitting right here next to me. I have been so wrapped up staring at my pink leather bound planner that I forgot you were here. Can you ever forgive me?
Now that I look back, I see that every metro ride at 7:30 in the morning, and each cup of tea consumed to keep my tired eyes focused on my laptop during the working hours, you were there, waiting for me to see you, and to see the adventure in every moment that has always existed. Thinking back, I know you where right there, when a blond haired, big blue eyed baby boy cooed so sweetly on the metro that even the scary looking ex-con with prison-quality tatoos uttered the phrase "isn't he adorable!"
You were there when I was so busy being busy that I got on the wrong metro car, and the time I forgot my badge at work and couldn't access my floor of the building. You were there when I decided to look up the daily mass times, and you were right there when I discovered a daily mass during my lunch break.
Jesus, you are my life, and too often I forget. I am swept up in the humdrum of a full time job during the day and a part time job in the evenings. You have been with me all summer, even when I fail to even recognize your presence. So, Jesus, sweet life within me, thank you for being there. Thank you for dealing with me even when I am f.i.n.e. (freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional). And please help me remember to stop and sniff the roses, whatever that means.
With as much love as my little broken heart can give,
Your workin' girl
How are you? I haven't really seen much of you this summer. I have spent most of these past few months being too busy to stop and sniff the roses, and by sniff the roses, I mean post on this blog. I had hoped to stay active on the blog over summer, but as I became busier, I justified it with the fact that because my blog's premise was the fact that I was a student, it was OK that I ignored it during the summer.
But in fact, I have learned that a collection of my thoughts and musings is quite necessary. The collection of thoughts has been left solely to prayer, with no time to blog. But tonight, I have a small window of time before I pass out.
Life, for so long I have been thinking that I have not spent anytime living you, but as I think more, I realize we have been pals since the semester ended, I just failed to recognize you sitting right here next to me. I have been so wrapped up staring at my pink leather bound planner that I forgot you were here. Can you ever forgive me?
Now that I look back, I see that every metro ride at 7:30 in the morning, and each cup of tea consumed to keep my tired eyes focused on my laptop during the working hours, you were there, waiting for me to see you, and to see the adventure in every moment that has always existed. Thinking back, I know you where right there, when a blond haired, big blue eyed baby boy cooed so sweetly on the metro that even the scary looking ex-con with prison-quality tatoos uttered the phrase "isn't he adorable!"
You were there when I was so busy being busy that I got on the wrong metro car, and the time I forgot my badge at work and couldn't access my floor of the building. You were there when I decided to look up the daily mass times, and you were right there when I discovered a daily mass during my lunch break.
Jesus, you are my life, and too often I forget. I am swept up in the humdrum of a full time job during the day and a part time job in the evenings. You have been with me all summer, even when I fail to even recognize your presence. So, Jesus, sweet life within me, thank you for being there. Thank you for dealing with me even when I am f.i.n.e. (freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional). And please help me remember to stop and sniff the roses, whatever that means.
With as much love as my little broken heart can give,
Your workin' girl
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Eternity is Worth the Awkwardness
The majority of comments asked to hear about my humble take on the phrase "eternity is worth the awkwardness", and so, without further ado, is the post:
The human mind cannot grasp the concept of eternity. Perhaps we can understand what it means, that is, existing beyond this human life, or perhaps we can truly ponder it, and wonder at the mystery of it. But for our feeble human intellect, that is exactly what it is: mysterious. Like many of the great things in the church that we can't totally grasp, we will call it a mystery.
What we do know about eternity is that our souls are subject to it. Either an eternity full of joy, or one devoid of it. It really is that black and white. There isn't any gray (unless you count purgatory, but that is simply a stepping stone to heaven, no turning around after that). When we understand the stark contrast between these two options, we must realize that how we live our life is how we decide upon which eternity we choose.
I won't waste my time telling you in detail how eternity with God is the better choice. For the purpose of not droning on, I will assume we all believe that heaven is clearly a better choice than hell. Given that assumption, we would prefer to live our lives in a way that chooses heaven. How do we do this? Well, we have a great handbook on how to live called the Bible, and we have the Church that was established by Jesus Himself, which has a teaching authority to help us with lots of pesky details.
As a college student, and a student leader with the Catholic Campus Ministry, one of the more challenging situations I am faced with is awkwardness. When I call up a friend to invite them to join me at daily mass, or attend your bible study, I have to brace for impact. The impact of the impending awkwardness that is. One of my favorite responses is the long drawn-out ummmmmmmmm which is used to buy time to think of a slightly less-lame excuse than having school work. One of the most bold rejections I have received after asking someone to come to Sunday mass with me was "Catholics are cannibals, no thanks". The most frustrating ones are the people that don't return calls, texts, and even go out of their way to avoid you. All that does is force me to be more awkward by continuing to try and contact the evader.
But why go through this seeming torture of being rejected over and over? Of facing the awkward situation of being the weird church-girl? Of talking to the kid in the corner after mass whose facial expression gives the impression that he has never been in a public venue before and he hasn't showered recently?
Because it's worth it.
In my position as a joe-college kid (jane-college kid?), I have asked myself why I allow myself to be subjected to such incredible discomfort and akwardness. I could just sit back and act like what the movies have told me college kids are like, and avoid a lot of strange looks. But ultimately, the answer to my own question is the phrase that titles this blog post entry: eternity is worth the awkwardness. It's completely worth it.
If Jesus could hang out with the most hated people in society, I can make it worth my time to talk to the socially awkward kid, or risk my cool-points by inviting a group of random friends to mass.
Jesus leads by example, and if the example he gave for us to get to heaven was to love the ones who need love, awkwardness is a small price to pay for that.
***And in case you were wondering what awkward looks like, here are a few examples:
The human mind cannot grasp the concept of eternity. Perhaps we can understand what it means, that is, existing beyond this human life, or perhaps we can truly ponder it, and wonder at the mystery of it. But for our feeble human intellect, that is exactly what it is: mysterious. Like many of the great things in the church that we can't totally grasp, we will call it a mystery.
What we do know about eternity is that our souls are subject to it. Either an eternity full of joy, or one devoid of it. It really is that black and white. There isn't any gray (unless you count purgatory, but that is simply a stepping stone to heaven, no turning around after that). When we understand the stark contrast between these two options, we must realize that how we live our life is how we decide upon which eternity we choose.
I won't waste my time telling you in detail how eternity with God is the better choice. For the purpose of not droning on, I will assume we all believe that heaven is clearly a better choice than hell. Given that assumption, we would prefer to live our lives in a way that chooses heaven. How do we do this? Well, we have a great handbook on how to live called the Bible, and we have the Church that was established by Jesus Himself, which has a teaching authority to help us with lots of pesky details.
As a college student, and a student leader with the Catholic Campus Ministry, one of the more challenging situations I am faced with is awkwardness. When I call up a friend to invite them to join me at daily mass, or attend your bible study, I have to brace for impact. The impact of the impending awkwardness that is. One of my favorite responses is the long drawn-out ummmmmmmmm which is used to buy time to think of a slightly less-lame excuse than having school work. One of the most bold rejections I have received after asking someone to come to Sunday mass with me was "Catholics are cannibals, no thanks". The most frustrating ones are the people that don't return calls, texts, and even go out of their way to avoid you. All that does is force me to be more awkward by continuing to try and contact the evader.
But why go through this seeming torture of being rejected over and over? Of facing the awkward situation of being the weird church-girl? Of talking to the kid in the corner after mass whose facial expression gives the impression that he has never been in a public venue before and he hasn't showered recently?
Because it's worth it.
In my position as a joe-college kid (jane-college kid?), I have asked myself why I allow myself to be subjected to such incredible discomfort and akwardness. I could just sit back and act like what the movies have told me college kids are like, and avoid a lot of strange looks. But ultimately, the answer to my own question is the phrase that titles this blog post entry: eternity is worth the awkwardness. It's completely worth it.
If Jesus could hang out with the most hated people in society, I can make it worth my time to talk to the socially awkward kid, or risk my cool-points by inviting a group of random friends to mass.
Jesus leads by example, and if the example he gave for us to get to heaven was to love the ones who need love, awkwardness is a small price to pay for that.
***And in case you were wondering what awkward looks like, here are a few examples:
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Tell Me What You Think!
First off, I would like to apologize for not posting for quite some time, but I promise I have a legitimate excuse. Immediately following my final exam, I left for California for a bit (I will post pictures soon!), and I have been home for two days, and I am currently preparing to leave for the D.C. area again to attend a the Seton Gala.
A lot has happened in the past few weeks, and I have so much I want to say! Instead of cavalierly commandeering this blog and deciding what I would like to talk about, I want to know what people reading this would like to hear!
Leave a comment on this post letting me know which of the following topics sound most interesting and you would like to hear about:
Sunday Mass in California at the Mission in San Luis Obispo (and other California adventures, with photos!)
Modest is Hottest
Eternity is Worth the Awkwardness
Discerning the Little Things
Any other suggestions
So please, leave a comment and let me know :)
A lot has happened in the past few weeks, and I have so much I want to say! Instead of cavalierly commandeering this blog and deciding what I would like to talk about, I want to know what people reading this would like to hear!
Leave a comment on this post letting me know which of the following topics sound most interesting and you would like to hear about:
Sunday Mass in California at the Mission in San Luis Obispo (and other California adventures, with photos!)
Modest is Hottest
Eternity is Worth the Awkwardness
Discerning the Little Things
Any other suggestions
So please, leave a comment and let me know :)
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Silver Lining
Today has been cold and dark with spots of rain every now and then. It is also exam week. The gloominess is almost unbearable.
Before exam week started, the students who attended the 10pm Sunday mass (yes, PM), received Father Peter's "blessing of the brains" that he gives at the end of every semester. The blessing was so beautifully said, asking the Holy Spirit to fill the students with peace, easing their anxiety. Father Peter prayed that we would not neglect our prayer or our studies.
How perfect was it that prayer was listed before studies. As a Catholic college student, it is so easy to get wrapped up in the idea of being a "good student" that we are no longer a good child of God. Today I took a small hour break from my studying to go to the chapel and pray, and then say hello to friends that were studying in the chapel's library. As gloomy and nerve-racking as the day had been, just being in front of the Blessed Sacrament helped soothe my soul. Just that quick conversation with Jesus helped me offer up my own anxieties.
As I said my goodbyes to my friends in the chapel's library, and walked outside, I was greeted with no rain! How wonderful! The rain had stopped, and I know the sun is patiently waiting behind the clouds, relishing in the idea of the moment I am done with my final final exam at 4pm tomorrow, so he can burst out from behind the grey, and welcome me into summer!
Before exam week started, the students who attended the 10pm Sunday mass (yes, PM), received Father Peter's "blessing of the brains" that he gives at the end of every semester. The blessing was so beautifully said, asking the Holy Spirit to fill the students with peace, easing their anxiety. Father Peter prayed that we would not neglect our prayer or our studies.
How perfect was it that prayer was listed before studies. As a Catholic college student, it is so easy to get wrapped up in the idea of being a "good student" that we are no longer a good child of God. Today I took a small hour break from my studying to go to the chapel and pray, and then say hello to friends that were studying in the chapel's library. As gloomy and nerve-racking as the day had been, just being in front of the Blessed Sacrament helped soothe my soul. Just that quick conversation with Jesus helped me offer up my own anxieties.
As I said my goodbyes to my friends in the chapel's library, and walked outside, I was greeted with no rain! How wonderful! The rain had stopped, and I know the sun is patiently waiting behind the clouds, relishing in the idea of the moment I am done with my final final exam at 4pm tomorrow, so he can burst out from behind the grey, and welcome me into summer!
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